Its Official: The Venetian and Umbrian Estates hloave Agreed to Share Training
After centuries of quiet disdain, the Venetian and Umbrian estates have signed an official accord to share training curricula. Umbrian representatives, known for their Papal-affiliated piety and reliance on ritual combat, will exchange instructors with Venetian masters of earth elemental precision. Reactions inside the Venetian estate are mixed. While some hail it as a strengthening of Italian unity, others mutter that Umbrian methods will only “soften the edge.” One anonymous student was heard whispering, “If they teach us to pray and stab at the same time, maybe it’ll save us five minutes”. The first training exchange will take place next season. Venetians, naturally, demanded the Umbrians provide wine, while Umbrians demanded the Venetians “stop poisoning it.”
Israel's "Fairy Infestation" Declared a National Emergency
Israel’s Prime Minister announced that the “pixie and fairy infestation” has reached national emergency levels. The crisis began when the Fire King, Alessandro Musumeci, partnered with the Fairy King, Andrea Chrysostavrόpoulos-Pnevmatakόpoulos, to produce a documentary on the Israeli estates. Since then, swarms of pixies have been spotted infiltrating restricted areas “in pursuit of better footage.” Alleged incidents include: pixies filming in Knesset archives, a fairy disguised as a janitor unlocking classified IDF storage, and a pixie attempting to bribe a minister with glitter. Government officials insist they are “monitoring the situation,” while social media in Tel Aviv has already turned #FairyEmergency into a meme.
DataCat: The New Canadian Startup Creating Waves in the Tech Industry
In unexpected non-estate news, Canadian startup DataCat has shocked the tech world by unveiling a revolutionary database system. The software sorts through unstructured data with unprecedented speed and efficiency. What began as a group of overworked coders “scrambling before a deadline” is now one of the most-watched companies worldwide. Governments, schools, and even estate notaries are rumored to be testing it. Insiders claim the system runs so light, it could theoretically handle Venetian biological archives without collapsing. A Venetian observer, unimpressed, commented, “Cute. Call us back when they can query bloodlines faster than an eight-year-old with Sight.”
Our Head has Created a New KPOP song?!?!
Gasps echoed through the training halls when word spread that Benedetto, heir of the estates and an award-winning composer, had composed a K-pop song. Titled “Symphony of Your Body Parts,” the track was pitched to Korean producers and quickly picked up by KPOP Group "ISpy" for their debut single. Known for its anatomical imagery and metaphors, along with its terrifyingly difficult song structure. The early demos, which were sung by the head himself which producers later softened into a horror-romance theme. Despite the unease, the single charted well, sparking debates within the estate, with some liking the new song and others despising the changes done to it. Meanwhile, Alessandro allegedly sulked, accusing Benedetto of composing the track “purely out of spite.”
The Cause of ALS Accidentally Discovered through the Head's Biological Vision
In what scientists are calling “the most Venetian breakthrough imaginable,” the cause of ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) was identified not by labs or universities, but by Benedetto’s casual use of biological vision. While peering into the muscle fibers of an unfortunate sparring partner, Benedetto reportedly muttered, “Oh, so that’s why they’re wasting away." The insight has since been verified by multiple research groups. However, when pressed for comment, Benedetto only shrugged and asked if the scientists could, “at least name a sandwich after me this time.”
